this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
