true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
