Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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