when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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