Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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