connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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