Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I did not marry a roomba.
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