Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
