wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
