you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
