Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
