he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize