If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
