Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
