The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Four minutes until I can fart!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
