Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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