Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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