just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
