Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
