Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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