WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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