weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The uberlube is also flammable
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
