Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
