did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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