finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
