I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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