he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
