I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
