they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
