It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
