No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Congratulations! We have a period
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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