I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
