well I can't set my house on fire every night
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
