You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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