Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
