Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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