C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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