I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
