Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
