Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
