Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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