you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
