I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
