A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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