Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
