turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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