Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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