youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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