Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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