Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
