i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
