I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i was born a porn star she said
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
