my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
