yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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