And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
