I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
