Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
