And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
