He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
