Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
