and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
